Monday, June 14, 2010
Update (really short post, sorry)
Anyway, I really haven't been updating very much. I cannot promise that I'll update more often, but I'll try to.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I really need your prayers...badly...
Well, last night I decided to take a break from Alvin and the Chipmunks episodes and songs for a least a week.
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Haven't posted in so long, I know. On this blog, I normally share my thoughts to help others...but now it is I who needs your help....I've been feeling down lately. Depressed, sometimes. I've been feeling this way on and off all year, and I'm not sure what the trouble is. But I know it started not long after I got into the old Alvin and the Chipmunks from the '80s. I haven't really been able to bring myself to admit it to those who know me in real life (other than my dad), it's a lot easier to admit faults over the internet.
I'm not sure what caused this, but this experience has shown me how little I really do know. (Which is good, because I was getting kind of proud of how much I knew.)
A couple ideas of what I think might be the cause:
-Teenage angst? I dunno, I was told when I was 12 that sometimes I would experience emotions without really knowing why as a teenager...I'm almost 17 now...perhaps this is the problem? Or at the very least it's part of it?
-Wrong motivations. This is the one I'm thinking is mostly likely...and the one I really hope isn't really the problem. I did get to where I loved AATC (Alvin and the Chipmunks, the cartoon) more than I loved God, and perhaps I'm still that way right now. I don't know. Matthew 6:24 says that you can't serve two masters, because you'll either love one and hate the other or hold to one and despise the other. You can't serve God and mammon...mammon being wealth, or things you desire. I guess it can describe anything you love a lot. Nothing is wrong with mammon itself, but it is wrong to love it so much that it means the world to you. I went through something similar with Star Wars a few months back...before I got into my AATC fandom, I was into a SW fandom. I finally ended up giving up Star Wars. It ended up only being temporary, but it made me feel much better. The real way to be happy is to serve God and others rather than yourself, I know that...but do I really have to give up AATC to do that? I really don't want to...not even temporarily...
I just don't know what to do. I talked to my dad about a couple of months ago, and we came to the conclusion that I needed to take either severely limit my intake of AATC, take a break from it, or give it up completely. I agreed with him for a while...I just don't know anymore...maybe I'm in denial, I don't know. I don't feel like I could talk about it with my pastor...he's a great guy and I really respect him, but I just don't think I could talk to him about this...it's so embarrassing...
There's something my dad taught me...do what makes you happy. From a certain point of view, this seems almost sacreligious. However, there is a way that this advice can be correctly applied, I think, but I'm not sure how to explain it.
I don't know, as hard as I try and as much as I hate to admit it...doing what God wants me to just doesn't seem to be making me happy right now like it did a few months back...maybe, like I said, because I'm trying to serve two masters? Yet serving God is the only way to be truly happy, I know this. If it isn't working out, it must be my fault. For a while I thought I'd found a working solution...but each time it only lasted for so long.
Now, to make it clear I don't think anything is wrong with liking a certain series of books or a TV show/movie a lot, but we Christians are commanded to put God first. I know each of us goes through some rough spots, some that even take months to straighten out, but...I'm wondering how many others have gone through exactly what I'm going through now. Now, I know I'm not the only one and I know of some people in the Bible...but I'm talking about people who are alive now that are going through or have gone through this. So I can talk to them about it, ask some questions.
Right now, life just doesn't seem worth it anymore...but I refuse to give up. I'm going to let myself cry for right now, but I refuse to sink into yet another bout of depression.
I just don't really know what's going on here...I really need your prayers.I'm feeling slightly better now that I have this off my chest...
P.S.
I told God that I'd let Him take care of it just the other day. Maybe I need to quit fidgeting so much and just let Him do so. Or maybe I just don't like His solution and I'm reacting to it? I don't know...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Is there such a thing as Christian rock music? or: Is Christian rock music really Christian?
First off, the purpose of a true praise song is to bring glory to God. Rock music is something that appeals to the flesh, or the part of us that wants to please ourselves rather than God. In my opinion, rock music and praise songs cannot mix because of this. When I have listened to Christian rock, I find myself concentrating on how the music pleases me rather than praising or bringing glory to God.
Oh, sometimes the words themselves are truly meaningful. I think that some of the artists making these songs may have the right intentions. They're just using the wrong media to carry out these intentions. It is indeed possible to concentrate on the words and ignore the music. But why tempt yourself?
We each have an "old man" and a "new man" in us. The "old man" is the sinful part of us, the part of us that is worldly. The "new man" is the Godly part of us that God gave us when we let Jesus into our hearts. Which one is stronger depends on which one we feed the most. If we keep our sights on Heavenly things, have the right attitude, obey God, we are feeding the new man. When we sin, we are feeding the old man. (Forgive the termonology here. I fear it has the potential to be put in entirely the wrong context.)
1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
I believe that "Christian" rock music is one tool the devil uses to get us out of God's will--the music appeals to the flesh. Thus it feeds our old man, making him stronger and more likely to defeat the new man.
Now, I'm only posting this because God laid it on my heart. Perhaps someone somewhere needed this post. I'm not trying to condemn anyone anywhere for listening to Christian rock. Whether you do or not is between you and God. Talk to God about it in prayer, ponder it in your heart, look for your answer in the Bible, ask a good Christian whom you trust for advice.
ETA:
On another note, is it December already? Wow, my mental clock is still back in August. Well, Christmas time is technically here I suppose, though December 1st may be a bit early to call it Christmas time. (The stores don't know this. XD) I do love this time of year. I especially love singing Christmas carols, like "Silent Night" and the Christmas spirit that comes with celebrating Jesus' birth.
At any rate, God bless!
~Collie
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Prayer Requests
First, my mom isn't feeling well. Second, my dad is now coming down with the bug we had a couple of weeks ago. Third, I have an unspoken.
Oh, and I'm not going to list the names over the internet, but please pray for the people on our church's prayer list as well.
On another note, I began reading "Mere Christianity" by C. S. Lewis tonight. I love this book!
God bless,
Collie
P.S.
I apologize for the short and rather hasty nature of this post.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Philosophy
Because that, when they knew God, they glorified [him] not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
I'm a philosophical person. Philosophy fascinates me. So I'd like to share my thoughts on this and speak of man's philosophy compared to the wisdom found in the Bible. I've spoken of this before, in my dA journal back before I gave up dA.
God gave man a wonderful thing: a brain. Our brains can solve problems, memorize the movements required to perform an action, give us a built-in "alarm clock", and of course keep our entire body functioning. The brain is an amazing thing, as is everything God has created if you ask me. God gave man what we need to function and live in this world.
What I find odd is that man tries to assume that he can outthink God, that he knows better than the Being that created the entire universe. I've seen people say that they refuse to serve or worship a God that they feel has not followed morals. I've seen people say that we don't need God anymore. While people must choose for themselves, my thoughts in response to such a statement is along the lines of "Okay, if we don't need God let me see you create an entire universe out of nothing in just six days."
I've shared my thoughts on this with my dad about this, and I agree with his response--that Dr. Kent Hovind says it best. I can't give a direct quote of Dr. Hovind's statement because I haven't taken the time to memorize it word for word, but it goes something like this:
Let me ask you if you know everything. The honest answer of course would be no. Let me ask you if you know half of everything. The honest answer to that would be no as well. But, for the sake of argument, let's say that you know half of everything. Is it possible that God exists and is truly in control in the half that you don't know? Think about that one.
Also, more thoughts I've had, and please don't get me wrong:
It has been said by a few people I've known that it doesn't seem logical to trust someone else because anyone can lie to you. That it seems that everyone just needs to think for themselves. So they basically concluded, "Why trust God?"
I'd like to point out that God made us so that He can enjoy us and so that we can enjoy Him. Think about this now. For the sake of argument, if you were able to make a creature that could worship you, would not the worship mean more if the creature worshipped you despite that it didn't seem logical to him to trust you blindly?
Human nature has a desire to trust someone else. Well, in all honesty people in general are just not trust-worthy what with their sin nature and all. However, we can trust God. How do we know? He gives us assurance and let me tell you, I Am's assurance is much more assuring that man's assurance. (If you didn't already know, I Am is one of God's names.) Yes, we do take it by faith. Not everything can be rationalized. While I do very much see the logic in not puting your full trust in anyone, I've found that it's just such a relief to have Someone that you can depend on, Who does not get overwhelmed at all of the the confusion and lies of the world out there. Who really does know what He is doing.
Now, let me say I've never taken a college philosophy course. I'm not old enough for one. And two I don't plan on taking one. But from what I have seen and from what I've been told, the philosophy there is twisted, used to turn people away from God rather than to honestly look at something from all angles. In my opinion, if you're honestly looking at all sides, you'll consider seriously that perhaps there are things out there that man's reason cannot comprehend, that there are principles that our minds--amazing though they are, just cannot fathom.
Ecclesiastes 8:8
There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death: and there is no discharge in that war; neither shall wickedness deliver those who are given to it.
Ecclesiastes 8:1
WHO is as the wise man? and who knoweth the interpretation of a thing? a man's wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed.
ETA:
And just for fun, here's a picture I drew last night even though Thanksgiving is still two weeks away:
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Lord, how long?
I've been thinking a lot on that lately. I've thought on this in the past, too and posted it here. But it's worth repeating. The best way to do so that I've come up with from thinking, reading the Bible, and asking God for guidance is to stay in God's will. Don't feed the old man in you--feed only the new creature that God gave you when you received Jesus as your Savior. Feeding the old man is encouraging anything in your life that is not something God would want you to see/watch/read/think. We're all guilty of that. And we all come ask God to guide us as to what things in our lives we just need to let go of. I admit, I still haven't made my decision about Star Wars. I like Star Wars, a lot. In fact, I was agonizing over having to give it up. But I also realize that nothing , absolutely nothing, should come between me and God and what He wants in my life. Anyway while I'm still not sure about giving up Star Wars, I can say that I am now willing to let it go if it's God's will.
I'd like to ask that you pray that I will be able to stay in God's will. I'll pray for you, too.
Another thought I had today--the saying that "Happiness comes not from your situation, but what you make of it". Well, I'm afraid that I'm stating the obvious, but today it hit me that it means finding the joy in doing whatever you're doing. For example, taking out the trash--don't take it out thinking "Oh, I hate this chore", think positively. The good things about taking out the trash. I've found that you can even have fun doing that if you put your mind to it.
ETA:
Today, when reading the Bible in family altar, God really spoke to me through 1 Thessalonians 5:2-25:
2For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.
3For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
4But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.
5Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
6Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.
7For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night.
8But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.
9For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,
10Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.
11Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
12And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you;
13And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves.
14Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
15See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
16Rejoice evermore.
17Pray without ceasing.
18In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
19Quench not the Spirit.
20Despise not prophesyings.
21Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
22Abstain from all appearance of evil.
23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
25Brethren, pray for us.
Monday, November 2, 2009
God wants what is best for us
Last night I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do: leave a site I'd grown addicted to. God had been dealing with me about that for a long time. Why? Because deviantART is not exactly an ideal site. I'd rather not go into detail, but it was full of all kinds of things I am to avoid as a Christian. I did a rather good job of avoiding that and sticking to my corner and that of my friends actually, but the temptation was still there. God wanted me to get out of there before I began really giving in. My profile and art gallery is still up, but I will not be going back. It was hard for me. I only succeeded in leaving left because God gave me the grace to do so.
This was a powerful reminder to me that God always knows what is best for us.
Just as He did with me, if you just trust Him God will give you the grace you need to accomplish His will. Not only that, He'll give you encouragement. After puting up my goodbye message on dA last night, I began to wonder if I made the right decision. I prayed about it. I had given a goodbye message on dA and promised to come back today to answer any questions any of my friends had today just so I wouldn't leave them hanging. Three of my friends there encouraged me to do what God wants. God used them to confirm my decision. God is faithful. I pray that I will continue to do His will despite the cost. I pray that He will give you the grace to do the same, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Until next time, may God bless you.