I really need your prayers...badly...

UPDATE:
Well, last night I decided to take a break from Alvin and the Chipmunks episodes and songs for a least a week.
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Haven't posted in so long, I know. On this blog, I normally share my thoughts to help others...but now it is I who needs your help....I've been feeling down lately. Depressed, sometimes. I've been feeling this way on and off all year, and I'm not sure what the trouble is. But I know it started not long after I got into the old Alvin and the Chipmunks from the '80s. I haven't really been able to bring myself to admit it to those who know me in real life (other than my dad), it's a lot easier to admit faults over the internet.

I'm not sure what caused this, but this experience has shown me how little I really do know. (Which is good, because I was getting kind of proud of how much I knew.)

A couple ideas of what I think might be the cause:

-Teenage angst? I dunno, I was told when I was 12 that sometimes I would experience emotions without really knowing why as a teenager...I'm almost 17 now...perhaps this is the problem? Or at the very least it's part of it?

-Wrong motivations. This is the one I'm thinking is mostly likely...and the one I really hope isn't really the problem. I did get to where I loved AATC (Alvin and the Chipmunks, the cartoon) more than I loved God, and perhaps I'm still that way right now. I don't know. Matthew 6:24 says that you can't serve two masters, because you'll either love one and hate the other or hold to one and despise the other. You can't serve God and mammon...mammon being wealth, or things you desire. I guess it can describe anything you love a lot. Nothing is wrong with mammon itself, but it is wrong to love it so much that it means the world to you. I went through something similar with Star Wars a few months back...before I got into my AATC fandom, I was into a SW fandom. I finally ended up giving up Star Wars. It ended up only being temporary, but it made me feel much better. The real way to be happy is to serve God and others rather than yourself, I know that...but do I really have to give up AATC to do that? I really don't want to...not even temporarily...

I just don't know what to do. I talked to my dad about a couple of months ago, and we came to the conclusion that I needed to take either severely limit my intake of AATC, take a break from it, or give it up completely. I agreed with him for a while...I just don't know anymore...maybe I'm in denial, I don't know. I don't feel like I could talk about it with my pastor...he's a great guy and I really respect him, but I just don't think I could talk to him about this...it's so embarrassing...

There's something my dad taught me...do what makes you happy. From a certain point of view, this seems almost sacreligious. However, there is a way that this advice can be correctly applied, I think, but I'm not sure how to explain it.
I don't know, as hard as I try and as much as I hate to admit it...doing what God wants me to just doesn't seem to be making me happy right now like it did a few months back...maybe, like I said, because I'm trying to serve two masters? Yet serving God is the only way to be truly happy, I know this. If it isn't working out, it must be my fault. For a while I thought I'd found a working solution...but each time it only lasted for so long.

Now, to make it clear I don't think anything is wrong with liking a certain series of books or a TV show/movie a lot, but we Christians are commanded to put God first. I know each of us goes through some rough spots, some that even take months to straighten out, but...I'm wondering how many others have gone through exactly what I'm going through now. Now, I know I'm not the only one and I know of some people in the Bible...but I'm talking about people who are alive now that are going through or have gone through this. So I can talk to them about it, ask some questions.

Right now, life just doesn't seem worth it anymore...but I refuse to give up. I'm going to let myself cry for right now, but I refuse to sink into yet another bout of depression.

I just don't really know what's going on here...I really need your prayers.

I'm feeling slightly better now that I have this off my chest...

P.S.

I told God that I'd let Him take care of it just the other day. Maybe I need to quit fidgeting so much and just let Him do so. Or maybe I just don't like His solution and I'm reacting to it? I don't know...